What is Confidence?
Confidence is something that we all learn during our childhood. There are certain events that may hinder the natural growth of our confidence such as being bullied or growing up in a strict, expectant family. This is not always the case however as sudden changes in our life can affect our confidence even during adulthood. Low levels of confidence can cause varying symptoms from negative thinking or irrational thoughts of failure to avoiding activities and experiences.
How we approach Confidence therapy
In order to treat confidence issues, it is important to discuss with you about their past. Using a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and hypnotherapy, the therapist can guide you through your past to events that may have been locked in your sub-conscious. We can tackle the root cause and start on confidence building. It will help you to challenge any negative thinking that contributes to feelings of low confidence, helping you to grow in a more positive and assertive manner, proving your inner self wrong by accomplishing something that you didn’t think you could.
Confidence building can be done with just your therapist, though it may be that they recommend attending confidence course where you can talk to others who suffer from low confidence for support. This helps to give people with low confidence a sense of achievement within a group.
If you’d like to improve your confidence through counselling then we encourage you to contact us.
A confidence therapy case study
Carly was intelligent, successful and attractive but had a debilitating lack of self-confidence. These feelings prompted her to feel anxious in social situations and to actively avoid opportunities for career progression. Carly was very adept at using words and imagery so we used metaphors to represent how she felt about her situation. We identified the image of a huge grey ball to signify the lack of confidence that was crushing her. I encouraged her to find a way of altering it and she found a way to have it ‘dry out’ and disappear.
The change was then tested. She was asked to visualise being in a group and immediately said she felt “scared”. This feeling was used to lead to her second metaphor, being surrounded by spikes suspended in the air. They were there to hold her back and stop her getting into trouble. This was probably the actual cause of her problems, an originally helpful behaviour response that had gone out of control. Instead of keeping her out of trouble, it was now stopping her doing anything at all. To transform the spikes she was asked to look really closely at them, and when she did so she was surprised to find that each one she looked at just popped out of existence. She cleared all the spikes this way. When she was mentally led into the group situation this time she was totally confident that she could join in and even lead the group naturally and easily.
I then asked Carly to imagine a friend asking her to start a company, another thing she said could not imagine doing. She immediately came up with a third metaphor. She was inside a cage with black steel bars and she was calling out to people walking by, but they were unable to see her. Later she was able to transform the cage so that the walls disappeared but she found that she still was holding on to a few bars, even though she was now outside the cage. She found that she did not want to let go. This indicated that the symbol represented some sort of resource for her, and she did want to lose it.
Valuable resources are always kept, so it was suggested she transform the bars into something useful that she could carry around with her. It turned into a silver ball in her hand. But as soon as she felt it in her hand part of her wanted to throw it away. So she transformed it again and it turned into something she could keep in her pocket. As soon as it was in the pocket it merged with her body and ceased to exist. She then said that she was walking along with all the other people and they were not paying any attention to her.
She was again tested against all her scenarios and all her fears had totally cleared. As she was tested against each of the things she said she could not do, a wide smile appeared on her face and she realised that it was all over. She was free of it.
Having never experienced counselling before I was very nervous about what to expect, but knew I had to make changes in my life, as I was feeling so low I could see no future.
I’m very grateful for what I’ve learnt with Richard and wouldn’t hesitate for one moment to contact him again if I needed any further guidance.