Counselling for codependency in relationships
As therapists specialising in codependency we understand that codependency is a learned behaviour. It can be difficult to break this cycle without intervention. At Pinnacle , our counselling for codependency therapy can reduce codependent patterns of behaviours & help you develop healthy & fulfilling relationships.
What is codependency?
Simply put codependency involves sacrificing one’s personal needs to try and meet the needs of others. Someone who is codependent will have an extreme focus outside themselves. Their thoughts and actions revolve around other people, such as spouses or relatives. It is a cycle that is difficult to break. This is where we can help.
Codependency is a learned behaviour that can be passed down from one generation to another, it affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. The relationships formed by a codependent person appear as unbalanced and unhealthy; they are often one-sided, emotionally damaging and / or abusive.
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What does codependency look like?
In psychology, codependency describes a person’s behaviours and attitudes rather than the relationship as a whole. Someone who is codependent often builds their identity around helping others. They may ‘depend’ on others to validate their self-worth. A codependent person may deny their own desires or emotions to get this approval.
It can cause severe distress and conflict within a relationship, this relationship can be a marital or between partners; or it can be a relationship(s) within a family, with friends, or even co-workers.
What are the common symptoms?
There are a number of common symptoms, a codependent person may not experience all of them. It’s also important to note that codependency can lead to other mental health and psychological conditions such as anxiety and depression.
Common symptoms include:
● Self-denial
They will often prioritise others’ well-being over their own. They may deny their own needs for rest, emotional support, and self-care.
● Poor boundaries
Codependent people often feel responsible for others’ happiness. They can have a hard time saying ‘no’ or putting their own needs first. They may hide their true thoughts and feelings to avoid upsetting others.
● Low self-esteem
Codependency may cause feelings of shame and worthlessness. They may believe they do not deserve happiness.
● A need to ‘save’ others
They may feel it is their duty to protect their loved ones from all harm. If a loved one does something wrong, they will likely try to fix the situation on behalf of their loved one’s.
● Controlling behaviour
They may link their own self-worth to others’ well-being. If a loved one fails, a codependent person may feel as if they failed themselves. Their attempts to make others’ lives better may shift into controlling or possessive behaviour.
● Perfectionism
Codependent people often project an image of self-reliance and competence. It is common for people to take on more responsibilities than they can handle.
What causes codependency?
Usually codependency is rooted in childhood, often a child grows up in a home where their emotions are ignored or punished. This neglect can give the child low self-esteem and they may believe their needs are not worthy of attention.
Usually one or more parents are not filling their role as guardians and as a result the child may become a pseudo-parent performing tasks that exceed their developmental ability, blurring the line between child and adult. As a child these behaviours may be necessary but in adulthood this codependency can stop a person from being able to develop stable, balanced and fulfilling relationships.
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How can codependency therapy help?
At Pinnacle we work with you, we know that everyone is different and one-size of therapy does not fit all. We often use a blend of therapies and coaching techniques ensuring that you are receiving the help and support you need.
As therapists specialising in codependency we will help you to recognise your behaviours and look at the emotions attached to these behaviours. We can help you to understand these codependent patterns and look at how to reduce them. Our joint aim is to enable you to develop healthier relationships and to break the cycle of codependency.
We are here to help improve the way you relate to those around you and allow you to break free from old behavioural patterns. We are not here to judge you, we are here to provide guidance and solutions in a supportive, non-judgemental environment.
What can you expect from codependency counselling?
Codependency therapy and counselling can be the start of a longer process but others may find a shorter course of therapy is sufficient. We offer therapy and counselling sessions in person at our London offices, over the telephone and online. Our relationship therapy sessions are all tailored to suit your needs and usually last from 30 minutes to an hour; our courses usually consist of around 6 to 12 sessions.
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